Yarn Bowl #1: Thank you all for coming. We have a new member today. Please welcome our latest member, the Black Yarn Bowl.
Black Yarn Bowl: (gushes) Thank you for having me. I'm thrilled to be with such a beautiful group!
Yarn Bowl #2: Is she really a yarn bowl? She doesn't even have a notch for yarn. That makes her just a bowl, in my opinion. (to Black Yarn Bowl) No offense.
Black Yarn Bowl: Oh, but, I have a few openings for yarn that are also decorative! A knitter can feed the yarn through the hole and then begin working on a project. They're then encouraged to stick with the project to use up the yarn to be able to use me again for a different project!
Yarn Bowl #2: Openings? Holes? You really put out, eh new-bo?
Honey Pot Yarn Bowl: That's enough Number Two. Pipe down before someone reminds you that your own notch is broken.
Yarn Bowl #3: Oh now you've done it...
Black Yarn Bowl: What's a new-bo?
Honey Pot Yarn Bowl: A new-bo is a "new bowl" - every new member gets stuck with that name for a while, or longer, depending. We all went through it for a while.
Yarn Bowl #2: (blusters) My notch is fixed and works just fine thank you!
Yarn Bowl #3: Relax, you know she's only winding you up. Honey Pot, why do you have to be like that?
Honey Pot Yarn Bowl: Just stickin' up for the new gal.
Black Yarn Bowl: Thank you, but I don't want to cause any commotion.
Yarn Bowl #1: Settle down everyone, settle down. This is not a good way for us to start today. (to Black Yarn Bowl) Why don't you tell us something about yourself, sweetie? Maybe where the knitter picked you up, or what it is that she likes about you...?
Black Yarn Bowl: Oh. Well. Okay. Thank you! Uh, hi, I'm the Black Yarn Bowl...
Everyone: (in unison) Hi Black Yarn Bowl!
Black Yarn Bowl: (giggles nervously) Well, I think it's my glazing and black colour that the knitter likes about me. There were some really nice yarn bowls to choose from at the stand I was at. Oh. I guess I should say that the knitter found me at Wonderwool Wales.
Wooden Yarn Bowl: Good show. Good show. Come from that one myself!
Black Yarn Bowl: No kidding?! There were a lot of wooden ones on the stand I was at, but none on a pedestal like you.
Wooden Yarn Bowl: (modestly) Why thank you! I personally think wooden yarn bowls are a nice rarity...
Yarn Bowl #2: (snorts)
Yarn Spool: (eagerly) I'm made from wood too! Oak!
Wooden Yarn Bowl: (grandly) Oak is fantastic wood! Yes, yes! Very strong! Of course it's no spalted beech mind you...
Black Yarn Bowl: You're both very lovely.
Knitty Yarn Bowl: (softly) I like your yarn. What's it like?
Black Yarn Bowl: Um, I think this is the Titus 4-ply by Eden Cottage Yarns.
Knitty Yarn Bowl: (more urgent) No, I mean, what's it like?
Black Yarn Bowl: (confused) It's a merino and silk blend...?
Honey Pot Yarn Bowl: Don't mind the Knitty Yarn Bowl. She's just curious about yarn in general. (sees Black Yarn Bowl still not getting it, decides to take her under her wing, drops her voice) You know, her being a YV and all...
Black Yarn Bowl: YV?
Yarn Bowl #2: OMG does she need to spell it out for you? A. Yarn. Virgin.
Everyone else: (gasps)
Knitty Yarn Bowl: (very softly) I'd just like to try it, just once. I mean, someday, of course. Just, the longer I wait the more I want it to be a really special yarn, you know? I hope the knitter knows...
Yarn Bowl #3: (thoroughly embarrassed) Number Two, maybe you'd like to be a little more, um, discreet?
Yarn Bowl #2: What for?
Yarn Bowl #1: Because we're here to tell our own stories, not those of others. Why don't we get back on track...
Yarn Spool: Yes! Sharing is caring! Let's remember to be supportive!
Yarn Bowl #2: Oh blow it out your ear, kindling.
Yarn Bowl #3: Here we go...
Yarn Spool: Who are you calling kindling?
Yarn Bowl #2: Oh I don't know, maybe the "which one of these things is not like the other"?
Yarn Bowl #3: (to Black Yarn Bowl) I'm sorry. Number Two and I are from the same maker but I think she's been a little "off" ever since her notch broke. She's never been quite the same.
Yarn Bowl #2: No! I've been better!
Wooden Yarn Bowl: Better at being a pain in the arse you mean.
Yarn Bowl #1: (to Black Yarn Bowl) It's not always like this.
Honey Pot Bowl: Sure it is!
Yarn Bowl #1: Only when you stir the pot, Honey. Well. I don't see us accomplishing much today. Please could everyone find their way back to their hidey-holes? We have the make sure the knitter finds us right where she left us. We want to be ready and waiting for any potential new projects!